Salam alekum wa rahmatullah wa barakeetuh,

Where do you think goes line between spouse being in charge of his household and being controlling/abusive freak?

"Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband). As for those (women) on whose part you fear ill-will and nasty conduct, admonish them (first), (next) leave them alone in beds (and last) beat or separate them (from you). But if they obey you, then seek nothing against them. Behold, God is most high and great. (4:34)

Sadly, there are so-called brothers, who think women are only for cooking, cleaning and intimacy.