:salamext:

In light of the recent thread regarding befriending non Muslims. I think the thread was deleted as it became a ground for insults and terrible emotional over-reactions.

My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, please do not take this as offense but as a reminder.

Its very sad to see such ignorant and insulting statements between members especially if we are Muslims who speak of the example of the Prophet :arabic5: and quote this in our posts. Even when we are reminded, we do not take heed or make an effort to be civil and respectful to one another.

From all the years I have spent on this forum, between learning new things and annoying the mods n members, I did not learn n benefit from posts as much as I learnt and benefitted from interactions between the members and staff and from them correcting me when I made a mistake or reminding me something when I forgot. It teaches us humility. We learn patience and self control in the face of downright ridiculous and blood boiling comments - when you seriously feel like giving a good old knuckle sandwich. But we have to control ourselves. This can be a difficult thing to do and I'm sure we can all relate. After all, we are only human. But we need to be humble enough for members to correct us because we are all in need of that. We need to be civil enough to have a discussion and patient enough to influence people. No one is an angel here and no one is perfect. No ones understanding is complete and every member comes with a different perspective - and until we don't understand this, appreciate this, and be people who implement , then in reality we would only show ourselves to be people who are ignorant and proud.

We need to check ourselves and our hearts because if we don't - our emotions could misguide us and we wouldn't even realise it. And we could be doing an action ourselves - yet accuse others of doing it.

Just some reflections from that thread.

If we have friends who are disbelievers and we tolerate them and their views - we tolerate their kufr - we tolerate the fact that they don't believe Allah is One and Prophet :arabic5: is Truthful. They commit the greatest crime and Dhulm in the sight of Allaah, and we tolerate this. They think shariah law is extreme and we tolerate this. They believe we are extreme if we believe and support shariah law - so we brush these topics under the table and still be friends in the hope that we might be able to guide them and bring them to Islam. For the sake of the benefit. Do we not? We are patient with them, are we not? Then if this is the case with our behaviour towards the disbelievers and our concern for them, to the extent that without even realising - slowly we start to compromise and mellow down our own beliefs to please them so they (the disbelievers) would still maintain friendship with us, then what about how we deal with the believers.

We have good manners with the disbelievers for the sake of dawah, but we forget good manners with the believers for the sake of unity and brotherhood?

Does kindness and toleration and beautiful replies only apply to the disbelievers?

We can tolerate kufr from our kaafir friends, yet we cannot tolerate an opinion from a Muslim brother and we resort to insulting to the highest degree. And what is this opinion: we should be kind and compassionate to the disbelievers but we shouldn't befriend them. Is this opinion more problematic and disturbing to you than kufr is? You do not accuse your kuffaar friends of ignorance for their beliefs like this, but you accuse your Muslim brothers and sisters of it? Does a member have to resort to insults in almost every single one of their posts when replying to a Muslim brother who holds this view. To the extent that some of us even start to make statements of preferring the kaafir (regardless of their kufr beliefs) over the believers (because of an opinion - whether this opinion is the correct understanding or not - atleast it is not kufr). If this is the case then we really need to check ourselves and our hearts - because perhaps we haven't realised - but it's speaking volumes in where we stand.

And before anyone jumps on me and takes my post out of context - or brings in other scenarios saying but what about this and what about that, please understand the point trying to be made. I am not defending anyone here or explaining which opinion is correct or not and neither am I saying you shouldn't tolerate the disbelievers or be compassionate towards them. What I'm saying is, that also remember the compassion, love and patience the Prophet :saws1: had with the believers and his love for them was far greater.

Again, Please do not take offense as this was only intended as a reminder and reflection so we can all check ourselves.

May Allah guide us all. Aameen.