Asalamoalaikum

Allah has written our spouse for us and decided who we will spend our lives with.And I understand people say halal is beautiful, it is.
But my question is not everyone gets a good spouse. Some people end up with abusive people, people that they dont get along with etc etc
The bitter reality is marriage is not beautiful for everyone. I find this heartbreaking because the truth is most of us wait to get married and live that "beautiful" life, not fantastical but still good. And then when that dream breaks its hurtful for anyone.
So my question is, why do people get bad marriages? Is it because they are not good people? Is it because they've done bad in their past? Is its just a test is not it a very harsh test and one that most people have to deal with forever ? Can it be avoided?

I read this quote and it really made me think the quote is :
dont label someone thristy for wanting to get married you have no idea how lonely or sad they are .Allah has created us in pairs.

the question is it okay to be lonely and sad for marriage? should not it be that we should try and avoid being lonely and sad or if we feel that way we should direct our attention to Allah?

my point is that if you tell yourself that your loneliness and sadness will one day fade because you ll get married you may be fooling yourself.you might never get that good marriage is not it better to just tell yourself everything is temporary and that all we really need is Allah?

maybe what iam trying to say is that its not necessary that marriage is really beautiful and maybe we should not want it at all.but just learn to want and need Allah? is it possible to become like that? are people like that? is it possible to be happy single and just content like that? or is really the idea of whole only possible with someone?

I think i struggle with this a bit and the fear of being alone has lead many astray but is it possible to just not have this fear and be happy no matter what?

i really dont want a bad marriage , especially because i feel iam a very emotional person and have not been able to connect emotionally with anyone all my life. i have not seen any good marriages, find myself having extreme trust issues, have done things that i fear may come back to haunt me basically things are not looking good for me. if i said i desperately want to find someone good to marry i would not be lying but at the same time i dont know what i want from life. sometimes i feel that iam better alone. i would really like a friendly in a friend sense spouse and someone who loves unconditionally is this possible? is praying to Allah for something like this right?

sorry i ve rumbled so much. but i hope i made some sense

JazakAllah khayr